I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
