We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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