I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
