I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i think i just lost a toe
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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