no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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