batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
