i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize