I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
