Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize