Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
