First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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