im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
50% drunk capacity currently
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
