I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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