God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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