and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
