I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
