so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize