if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
