Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
