So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
