you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
