You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
