dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
