and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
