Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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