uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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