quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize