you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
