I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
