I hate all girls vehemently.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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