I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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