Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
