A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
