Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
