I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
