The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
