whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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