maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
