that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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