if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
