i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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