God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
