you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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