I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
