i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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