that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
