A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize