I'll bet she douches with gravy.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
