yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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