Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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