barbara walters just said penis...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
