Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
