I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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