I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize