ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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