He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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