living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
