The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
