im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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