so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
