We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
