what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
