I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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