Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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