seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
my poor anus
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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