That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
