Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
