I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
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