these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize