is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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