Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
