so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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