I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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